FRIENDS / LOVERS?

Do you want us to be just friends or would you like to be in a relationship with me? That is a question I have been fighting  with. Not because I don’t know what I want but because as much as it sounds lovely I don’t want to go back to what we had. It was good while it lasted but I sincerely don’t have the energy anymore. No energy to fight you, no energy to worry if you still care or not, no energy to wonder if you are being faithful or not but most of all, no energy to downplay my needs.

I loved you, I loved you with all I am and every time I reminisce about it a tear escapes my eyes. Not a tear of regret but one of happiness because we had some pretty good times too. I can still remember the first time I saw you. How could a man be so beautiful?

I fell in love with you even before we talked. Call me crazy but it was the best feeling ever and once I finally got to know you I was more than content but sadly I guess love is never enough. Sometime I used to wonder if its what I did or what I didn’t do but I know I did my best – maybe my best wasn’t good enough for you. I am sorry you didn’t find all I gave satisfactory, I am sorry I couldn’t make you happy, I am really sorry I gave up on us.

But that’s just it. I gave up. I gave up because I couldn’t wait any longer. I gave up because I was done hurting. I gave up because there was nothing to fight for anymore and since you will never change and I will never change, me coming back will be a cycle – one that may kill both of us. So, friends / lovers? Am sure you already know my answer.