PERHAPS

When you hurt people who love you
More often than not you try and justify it.
You rarely take a moment
to imagine the pain they are going through
But when people hurt you
You make them the monsters
and torture yourself
While trying to look for answers as to why
and how they could betray you so

 

Forgetting the box full of broken hearts
Broken dreams, unfulfilled promises
False hope..
The box full of memories that you try so hard to hide

 

I never intended for your beautiful heart to end up in that box
Whenever I was with you, you made me feel whole
Walking away was not as easy as it might have seem
I cried myself to sleep every night
As the void was so painful and I wasn’t strong enough
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Sometimes I hear your voice
and I can swear on seeing you in the corner of my eye
For a moment I remember what we could have been, what we should have been
Before I tore your heart out and walked away
Sometimes I ask myself why I did it
Why I foolishly chose to lose out on such a great love
Perhaps it was my pride

imsorry

Perhaps it was the fear of loving someone so intensely it scared me
Perhaps it was how you filled my thoughts all the time
Perhaps it was the fear of losing myself in you
Perhaps you made me feel vulnerable
Perhaps it was the fear of losing self control
I am sorry for the pain I caused you
I am sorry for breaking you
I am sorry for breaking us

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5 thoughts on “PERHAPS

  1. I have been both hurt, several times, and have done the hurting to another. It leaves a void that can be devastating, and can require therapy to process. some folks have contemplated suicide on the back of rejection even. Great rendering of emotional conflict!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The first time someone broke my heart, I tried to be strong and told myself that crying will only mean that he had won…little did I know that I was only postponing the inevitable because when all the emotions finally overwhelmed me, I broke down both emotionally and physically. Everything around me reminded me of the loss and I felt like running away…i agree loss can be devastating especially when you let it

      Like

      • Meaningful timely expression of emotions upon loss is the best way to gain mastery over it. Burying the feelings will cause blow ups later, and you may not even know why. Suppression of emotion also can be a root cause of mental illness. Crying as much as you need to is actually healthy, but be careful about doing it publicly. Many label such behavior as weak.

        Liked by 1 person

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