What makes one love story different from another? How does one know when they find ‘the one’? How does one distinguish between being in love with someone with being in love with the idea of that someone? How can you tell if it’s true love? What the heck is true love anyway and is there such thing as ‘the one’? Sadly if you are struggling with these questions, I can’t be of any help as I am not smart or stupid enough to pretend to be but if you are fortunate enough to find some answers kindly do a sister a favour and enlighten me.
I have been in love before but none of it ever felt right. I either had to work hard in the relationship, the love was unrequited, had to pretend to be what I am not so as to be liked or not to lose the other person, forgive cheating and lying partners because I did not want or didn’t know how to be alone, staying in a clearly abusive relationship because of fear of starting over or being the topic of gossip but worst of it was feeling like I didn’t deserve better. As fate would have it, against all odds I have been lucky enough to know how it feels to be truly loved by someone else other than mother dearest. Every time he tells me I am beautiful, I look around to see if there are cameras so I can confirm that it’s a prank and sometimes I even ask him if someone i.e my mother is paying him to say all those wonderful things that he mutters to me. I love the way he looks at me, his eyes shine and he smiles like he just won the lottery. You are my princess he says and loving you is an honour! See what I mean? Who says such things unless they are secretly trying to kidnap you for ransom or feed you to their snake pet and watch you scream? Luckily for me he has no pets (I double checked) and I am only rich in optimism so it’s not for ransom lol.
When I met him, I never imagined I will be writing anything other than ‘love is dead and it’s a sham’ about him at 5 in the morning but I am grateful that in some weird cosmic way our paths collided. I have always been a lone ranger but the other day I was a little stressed and when he called, no matter how much I tried to hide it, he could tell that I wasn’t okay. After endless attempts to deflect I gave in and poured my heart out. I was impressed at how good it felt to talk to him about my worries but the best part was when he told me not to fret because we will figure a way out. He didn’t give me the classics, ‘you will be fine, everything will be okay, how can I help’ etc but the fact that he saw my problem as our problem made me realise this is what Shakespeare, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston and all the ballads you think about when you think about love were all about.
When he is sad and I am away, we talk about it but when I am with him, just hold me tight he says everything gets better when you embrace me. To know that someone sees you as their refuge, that to them you represent what home and that just the thought of you makes them smile for all the right and wrong reasons is truly a touch of heaven. If this isn’t what love is, then I don’t know. I may also not know what tomorrow holds but one thing is for certain, one lifetime is not enough to bask in the joy that he brings into my life but I will spend every second of it loving this wonderful man who sees my true colours and my flaws and still says, beautiful.
So how do you know when you find the one or if it’s true love? Well I think you just know.